You're the One
by CeliaEquus
Summary: For the Marauder's Era challenge created by EmeraldFlower. Severus makes one last, desperate attempt to earn Lily's forgiveness. Will he succeed? And what does her secret obsession have to do with it? AR, and probably OOC. Know what? I really don't care.


"You're the One"

What few people knew was that Lily Potter had a secret obsession: rubber ducks. She had them in all sorts of shapes, sizes, and colours. Some made noise; some didn't. Some were small, and some were large. It wasn't hard to find something for her as a present, just as long as she didn't already have the same one already. And even if she did, she would place it next to the old one, and say that they were brothers or sisters.

Severus knew that she was going home for Christmas in this, their sixth year. She still hadn't forgiven him for the 'Mudblood' incident. He had an idea, but was still unsure whether he should use it or not. So many times he told himself 'no'… and he almost stayed with that.

Almost.

His pitiful attempts at artwork had only ever been appreciated by Lily, and no doubt that was just because she was his friend.

_Was._

He furiously wiped away a tear where he sat in the dark of the forest, the same place they used to spend time together as children.

"Damn it," he muttered, slitting his hand yet again. He pressed his bare palm to the snow-covered ground, and watched the red seep out, creating a morbid stain. He sighed, wiped it off on his threadbare trousers, and continued carving.

This kind of duck wouldn't be able to float. Not unless he placed a charm on it; and he couldn't afford to get in trouble with the Ministry, particularly not with all of this pressure being placed on him to join the Dark Lord. Oh, why did he have to be in Slytherin?

Oh, yes. It had sounded _so grand_ when he was eleven. Now that he knew better, had seen how it messed up his life, he wanted so much to reverse it. But he couldn't be re-sorted. And even if he was, he would be ostracized by pretty much everyone. Slughorn would never understand, his life would be in danger from his former housemates, and the Dark Lord would not be happy, especially as he wanted Severus' brewing skills on his side.

Long into the night, Severus carved the chunk of wood. He returned the next day, forcing himself to pretend that it was a particularly hard potions ingredient that required to be cut _just so_.

He had the most trouble with the neck and beak, and constantly referred to the rubber duck Lily had given him the previous Christmas. The one he was making was about the same size, and (roughly) the same proportions. He lovingly cut in some feathers—really just made rough scratches, but that was all he could do—and then returned yet again the next day: Christmas Eve.

Would he make it in time?

"Best I can do," he said, dipping his broken paintbrush into the yellow substance he had created himself. He couldn't afford to get real paint. He had instead resorted to stealing dried up tubes from the back of an artist's studio. It was those same bins where he had found the broken paintbrushes. He was using the big one for the yellow body, the medium one for the orange beak, and the two little brushes for the black and white eyes.

By that evening, it was finished and dried.

He would find Lily tomorrow.

* * *

She awoke to the sound of pebbles hitting her window. She knew instinctively who it would be, and rolled over in her bed, determined to ignore him. No matter how many times Severus Snape apologised, she would never forgive him.

Never.

…Was he _singing_?

Against her better judgment, Lily struggled out of bed, threw on her dressing gown, shuffled into her slippers, and went to the window. She peered out into the dawning light, and saw a dark shape below. With a sigh, she tugged on the handle, and braced herself against the flurry of coldness that seeped into the room.

"What _is_ it?" she hissed, leaning out. "Just go away, Severus."

"…of you."

"What? I can't hear?"

He walked closer, hiding something behind his back. Lily tensed, wondering what it was. Was it something dangerous? More of his Dark Arts? If so, she wanted no part of it.

"I, uh…" He blushed, cleared his throat, and spoke up. "I was just singing for you."

"Oh, so now you've resorted to that, have you?"

"Lily, _please_ listen to me. If you tell me to go away again, I'll… I'll go." The wind had dropped down now, and she could hear better. "I promise. It'll kill me to hear you reject me any more than that; I know it will. Masochism gets pretty old after awhile." He laughed nervously, but just saw her tired expression, too exhausted to be stony. "Just hear me out. Uh, first of all, Merry Christmas." He pulled the present out from behind his back, wrapped in some yellow paper, with writing under it. Old newspaper, probably. It made Lily's heart clench.

"Hang on," she said. "I'll be down in a tick. I don't want you to wake my family."

Severus nodded, and she pulled back into her room. She shut the window, and then thought. It would be her first Christmas in so long without him if she sent him away, and she wasn't sure that she was strong enough for that. So many things since then had been without him; the train ride home, the train ride back to Hogwarts, classes…

She went downstairs.

* * *

Severus was almost hopping in place. He'd give her fifteen minutes, and then hide. If she didn't come out after another fifteen, then he'd go to their place in the forest, and wait for her there the rest of the day. No point in going home. What was there for him?

He needn't have worried. She tip-toed out the front door thirty-three seconds later, looking around. He walked up to her, and she stiffened.

"Hello," she said, her hands shoved deep into the pockets of her dressing gown. "Say what it is you want to say."

"Well, I've said 'Merry Christmas', so then I guess I'd better… uh…" He was at a lost. He'd practised this in his head all night, not getting a wink of sleep. Part of this was because he wanted to make sure that nothing happened to the duck. His duck. Lily's duck.

If, that is, she accepted it.

"If that's all," she said, turning to go.

"No!" He grabbed her elbow, and pulled her back around. "No, please, Lily."

"Then just spit it out, already!"

"I LOVE YOU!" he bellowed. And then he flushed again, unable to believe he had just blurted out his feelings. Lily's mouth had dropped open, but he pressed on, taking advantage of her shock. "I always have. I've always been in love with you. I've been trying to tell you all this time, but you're perfect. You're too good for me. I guess, then, since you're too good for me, you're not perfect, because if you were, then you might actually want me, but then it would only be perfect for me, and not for you, because nobody should want me, because nobody's _ever_ wanted me…" He took a deep breath, forcing himself to stop rambling. Lily's mouth was now closed, but she was blushing. "I wanted to give you this, and hope that you might at least want to try again. You know, with friendship." He shoved the present into her hands. "Sorry there's no card. I was so busy making this, that I didn't have time to do that, so I had to…"

"It's… it's fine," she said, her voice almost inaudible. She carefully pulled apart the wrapping. "What did you make me… oh." The paper fell to the snow as she held the wooden yellow duck in her hands.

"Sorry," he whispered again. "It's pretty shoddy, but I'm no artist. Everybody says so… well, except you, but that's just because you're… well, a nice person…"

"You're rambling again."

"Sorry." He winced. "I hope the paint doesn't flake off. I had to improvise with the ingredients, and you can see the red stains. They wouldn't come off, and I didn't want to scrub too hard in case it ruined the wood, and made it… well, un-paintable."

"What _are_ the stains?"

"They're, um…" He held up his badly-bandaged hands, from torn bits of cloth

Lily looked at them with tears in her eyes. "Blood, Severus?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry. It's really not that good, only it was the best I could do, and I thought it might mean more…"

"It does, Sev," she said, and she held one of his injured hands.

"It won't float…"

"It doesn't have to."

"And it's really not that good…"

"It's fine."

"The beak's too big…"

"I… I like big beaks," she said, and she let go of his hand. He looked disappointed, until she placed hers on his cheek, stroking his nose with her thumb. His eyes fluttered shut, and he tried to suppress a moan.

"You do?"

"I do," she whispered. "I love them. And it's perfect. I especially love the black eyes."

"Well, most rubber ducks have them…"

"I'm… I'm not talking about the duck."

His eyes flew open, and he almost pulled back when he realised just how close she now was. "L-lily?"

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"I've apologised _again_ and _again_, Lily…"

"No, not that. And I'm sorry I was so cruel. But what I meant was… why didn't you tell me that you loved me?"

"I was afraid that you didn't see me that way. I couldn't see how you could possibly love me with even _half_ of what I feel for you."

Lily shook her head, stepping closer once again. "You've given me the greatest gift I could ever receive at Christmas, Severus Snape."

He looked down at the duck. "What, that pathetic thing?"

"No!" She forced his head back around to look at her. Their gazes met, and she knew that it was true, that what she was feeling was real. "No, Severus. It's not pathetic. It's wonderful. It's unique, and it came from the heart. It's unique _because_ it came from the heart. I love it, bloodstains, big beak, black eyes and all."

"Nice alliteration."

She giggled. "Thank you. But that wasn't the gift I was referring to, Sev."

"Then what?"

"Have you ever… heard of the term 'a light-bulb moment'?"

"Ye-es."

"Well, I had one of those this morning, when you gave me that duck. No, it was even before then, I think. But that was the greatest moment ever." She moved her free hand to the back of his neck, pulling him close. "You made me see just how much I truly love you."

Severus barely had time to gasp before she was pressing his mouth down to hers. His hands quickly went around her waist, not wanting to risk letting her go, not wanting to wake up from this dream he had landed in. Because it _had_ to be a dream. She couldn't really be kissing him, forgiving him, _loving him_…

She pulled back, but his eyes stayed shut. When he opened them, he was shocked to see that she was still there. He took his hands away, and pinched his arm. He winced, swearing under his breath, but she was still there.

"Lily? You…"

"I only just realised it, and I'm so sorry that I didn't see it earlier," she said, tears running down her cheeks as she stroked his hair back from his face. "But I've suddenly, and yet slowly, fallen in love with you. And I don't ever want to lose you." She threw her arms up around his neck, left hand still fiercely clutching the duck. She revelled in his loving embrace. Then she quietened her breathing enough to hear him singing.

"Rubber duckie, you're the one. You make bath-time lots of fun. Rubber duckie, I'm awfully fond of you…"

She laughed, letting her arms slide down. "Come on, Michelangelo. Let's get you inside."

"Michelangelo? And I was going for Frank Sinatra…"

_

* * *

_

Ten years later…

"Those art classes were an inspiration on your part, Lily."

"You were the one who kept saying that you didn't want to butcher every duck you carve for our children, not to mention your hands."

"Thank the gods, too, otherwise we wouldn't have such a successful potions business, my love." He stroked her knee, and then went back to studying for the night class he was taking every Friday. Lily had found one in learning Latin, held at the same time, just in the next room. Her parents looked after Toby and Violet for them. Knowledge of Latin would come in handy whenever they needed to translate old books.

"Do you think they'll ever grow out of ducks, and move onto something more advanced, like a car?" she asked, giving Severus a wicked smile. He scowled.

"If they do, I give up. We can wait until grandchildren come along, and hope that they have your tastes." He looked at their mantelpiece, where 'Christopher, the Christmas Duck' sat in pride of place. "I'm surprised that you still love that old thing, that you haven't given up on it."

"I'll never give up on you," she said, and he met her loving gaze. He smiled, and put down his homework.

"This can wait. Do you think our offspring would like another brother or sister?"

"Severus!" She laughingly allowed herself to be pulled to their bedroom.

"Well, it can't hurt to practise, can it?"

"No," she said, looking back at Christopher, and the other ducks Severus had carved for her since. The first duck, however, was special for the message that had been painted underneath him: 'Lily, all my love, Christmas and forever, Severus'. "No, it never hurts to practise."

**

* * *

**

Challenge completed!

**Okay, so this was for the Marauder's Era challenge. I wanted to write a Lily and Severus story, since I haven't done one of those before, and the idea of Lily having a thing for rubber ducks came to me. In case you're wondering, that was my prompt. 33, the number that I chose, is 'rubber duck'.**

**(The intervening ten years can be left up to your imaginations.)**

**Please review!**

**Disclaimer: As usual, I don't own the Harry Potter franchise. Nor do I own "Rubber Duckie", which was released in 1970, by the way. Also, I don't own the Marauder's Era Challenge. That was not my creation. Only the obsession with rubber ducks, which springs from one of my (many) childhood phases.**


End file.
